Like I Used To
by Crazier
Summary: Just a two-shot of their memories. I was never really good at summaries so... reaad!
1. It started with gum

**A/N : This story was inspired by a song I've been listening to for quite a while. (Like I Used To - A Rocket To The Moon)**

**Disclaimer : I don't own anything/anyone. I only own the story line (:**

**Mikayla's House**

**Mikayla's POV**

It's over. We're over. I can't believe I let her slip through my grip. I thought we'd be together forever…but I guess that's not how it works…Ugh, all these memories, all the things we said and didn't get a chance to say. Every little thing around me reminds me of her. Even the sand on the beach. Oh god, the beach…

_Flashback_

_Miley turned to look at Mikayla while they were laying down in the sand with their fingers laced. The way the sun hit Mikayla's face made it look like she was a goddess. Miley couldn't help but just stare in awe at her girlfriend._

"_Why are you staring at me like that, Baby?" Mikayla turned to face Miley who hadn't taken her eyes off of her for the past 8 minutes._

"_No reason it's just that… you're so beautiful. Baby…" Miley trailed off, but stood up and helped Mikayla up as well. So now they were both on their feet, facing each other, and holding hands._

_She continued, "Baby, I love you. With all my heart. I really do." _

"_You have no idea how long I've wanted to say this. Miley Stewart, I love you. More than words can explain, I'll love you until there's no more rhymes for romance."_

_End of Flashback_

Tears rolled down my cheeks and down my neck. I couldn't help but cry uncontrollably. God I miss her… What'd I do to deserve this? Why am I never good enough for someone…

* * *

**9 months ago…**

Rehearsal, god this was so boring. Wait, tiring too! I can't believe I have to go on a 6 month tour with _Hannah Montana._ What the hell was so great about her anyways? So what if her name sounds cool, or that her voice is heart throbbing, or that… Oh. My. God. There she is! Hannah FREAKING Montana! God she's so beautiful! Look at the was she walks! With her hips swaying, the way the wind made her golden blond hair flow when she opened the door…

"Ew."_ So I like the girl! But it doesn't mean I'm going to drool over her and be nice like everyone else. I don't wanna like her, I guess I'm just mean to her so no one can see my true feelings._

"Ew your face." She shot back. I glared at her, she glared back. _We were basically head to head on this one, neither of us moving or blinking. I blew at her eyes causing her to flinch and blink. Gee, she's so cute when she's mad. I couldn't help but laugh at her frustration of losing the staring contest._

"Try a breath mint next time, would ya?"

"Why don't you go get me one then, miss I'm so perfect?"

"And waste _my _money on _you_? Ha! Yeah right. I'd rather give you some chewed gum."

"_Your _chewed gum, hopefully?" _Oh shiiiiit! Why did I just say that? Nice going Mikayla! Why'd I have to say that…with a smirk too! Jesus Christ, she's going to think I'm a freak!_

"Um…W-what'd you say…?" She stammered. _Oh my god what do I do?_

_Okay, so I did the only thing I could think of at the time, I walked away and went in my dressing room. The couch looked pretty comfortable and a nice thinking spot, so I accepted its offer and laid down on it. Then I heard it._

_Click!_

I didn't bother opening my eyes, so I just said, "Would you mind leaving me alone? I don't wanna talk to anyone right now."

"We don't have to talk you know…" _The voice…sounded so familiar, but…huskier? What the hell? Before I could open my eyes or say anything I felt it. I felt the sparks, I saw the fireworks, I could feel my heart pounding, the butterflies growing, I could feel everything. She kissed me. How'd I know it was a she? Oh please, like you haven't kissed a girl before! Her lips were soft for one, and they taste like…cherries? Maybe strawberries, I was never good at this whole vegetable thing. Or fruits… whatever, you get it!_

Our lips were moving in complete sync, it was unbelievable, it felt like I was dreaming, but better. Much better. That is, until she pulled away from me. My eyes fluttered open, only to see a pair of blue eyes, and an angelic face. _It didn't take much to figure out we both wanted each other. NO! Not that way you pervs! I'm talking about romantically! Not…lustfully. Did I ever mention that Hannah's an amazing kisser? Well she is. And now you know. _

Of course, Hannah was on top of me, while my arms linked around her neck, pulling her closer, if that was possible. Just as the kiss was deepening, _we pulled apart for some H2O, wait…I think that's water… Well, we pulled apart for some oxygen! I could see the desire in her eyes, but also compassion. This was the first time we said anything that wasn't mean…Well…We're not technically speaking so…_

"You're gay?" She asked me. _Well, gay wasn't exactly the term, but hey, she was close!_

"I'm bisexual. And I'm taking it that you're either bisexual, or a lesbian."

"Or I just wanted to try something and I just happened to use you as my little puppet." _Damn, there goes the nice-ness out the window._

"Oh…" _It was all I could say! I wanted to say more, but it's not that easy when your crush kisses you then tells you that you were just a puppet for their own little experiment._

"Mikayla I'm just messing with you." She flashed me a pearly smile. _Wow her teeth are whiter than white! Wait, why am I thinking about her teeth when she just said she was just kidding?_

"So…you are… and how do you feel about me exactly? Where do we go from-" She cut me off with her lips. _Wow, everyone always says that. But it's true! _

"Mikayla, I'm bisexual too, and I like you, a lot. Aside from the fact that you're always mean to me. And I'd like to go further than this if you'd like."

_Well pull my pants down in front of the whole world and call me dumb! She answered my questions before I could even finish! God this girl's amazing! "I-I'd li-love to go further than this!" How the hell did she make Mikayla Marshall stutter? Well this is embarrassing. She has that stupid, cute, and adorable smirk on her face. Oh gee…What did I just get myself into? Did she mean…further as in…_

"I meant a relationship, Mikayla. Not sex, geez you're a perv." _I don't understand how she has me all figured out… Weird. Whatever, it makes it a whole lot easier on me! Mmm…that taste again. The vegetables, or…fruits. Whatever. Her lips were on mine and I'd love to have them there forever! I couldn't help myself, I've always wanted to do it. So I did._

I slapped her ass.

"Mikayla!" She screeched my name. _How sexual, haha._

"What'd I do?"_ Can you honestly blame me for smirking? Really. C'mon. I know you would be too. Don't lie. Now you're smiling. Ha, I'm so smart!_

"You slapped my ass!"

"No I didn't, I simply brought my hand down on it. I patted it."

"You should do that more often." She said with a wink. _Oh. My. God. She must've seen the shocked expression on my face, because she placed my hands on her ass, and continued to make out with me. Yummy!_


	2. What's a girl to do?

**_Mikayla's POV_**

Nine god forsaken fucking months ago. Yeah things were great back then, now there's someone else. Someone better. Fuck! Am I really never good enough for anyone? I find the love of my life, and then she just leaves me for some guy. Not just any guy, but none other than Jake Ryan. So what if he has blond hair and green eyes. I have dark brown hair with red streaks and chocolate brown eyes! Yeah! I don't see that "pretty boy" with red streaks! Fucking bastard. I wonder if he does all the things we used to…

**Does he watch your favorite movies? **

_I think not, just the movies he's in._

I popped in Miley's favorite movie, The Notebook. We sat on the couch and cuddled as the movie started. We've probably watched this movie over a thousand times, but watching this movie makes me realize that this is what I have with my Miley. We have our own Notebook romance.

**Does he hold you when you cry?**

_Yeah after __**he **__made you cry, maybe._

I didn't know what to say other than "It's okay" or "It'll get better, he just needs time.". Miley just told her dad that she's bisexual and that she's dating me. He didn't exactly take it well…who am I kidding? He made her cry!

"Thank you so much Mikayla for always being here for me. I love you so much." When she tells me she loves me, I swear my heart skips a beat. "I love you too, Miley. I'd never leave you."

**Does he sing to all your music?**

_With that horrible, ear-bleeding voice._

My Heart Beats For Love. One of our favorite songs. We were singing it in the car as we drove to the hotel we were staying at for the weekend.

"No, I won't surrender, I'll wait here forever" I sang out while driving.

"Standin' here with my back up high" Her voice is so angelic.

"Can't you see that it's worth the fight?" I'd fight anything and anyone for her.

**Will he love you like I love you? Will he tell you everyday?**

_No and no. That dick faced bitch._

"Miley, Baby?"

"Yes?" She looked at me unexpectedly.

"I love you." Every time I say those three words, I can't help but allow the smile to creep onto my lips.

"Mikayla, you tell me that everyday. And I absolutely love that about you." Now it was her turn to smile.

**Will he make you feel like you're invincible with every word he'll say?**

_Hell to the fucking no! That dick sucker probably trash talks my baby._

She linked her fingers with mine as we just stood there, side by side, staring at the house which contained her father. She was going to tell him about us today, one can only hope everything will be fine…

I broke the silence. "Even if he doesn't support us, it's not going to change the way I feel for you. I'm not telling you to be strong, because that's kinda cheesy, but I think 'I love you' is a better choice."

"How do you do that?" She questioned.

"Do what?"

"You make me feel weak to my knees, yet invincible at the same time." I kissed her cheek after she said this.

"I didn't know I had that affect on you, but you have that same affect on me every time I'm near you."

**Can you do all these things? Will you do all these things like we used to?**

_You probably can. But that fag ain't got nothing on me! I'm the best one for you Miles. If only you would see that…_

* * *

_One last walk on the beach. _I thought bitterly to myself. I guess this is my goodbye to her. I know I said I would fight anything and anyone for her, but she already made up her mind. I've tried so hard to convince her not to leave me. I've tried so hard to stop the tears. Stop them from flowing, stop them from ruining my makeup. It just didn't work out. Has someone ever punched you so hard in the stomach, it's like you can't fucking breathe? Yeah. It's 10x worse than that, so don't even complain to me about your _stomach _hurting. My _heart _is hurting…

I finally got to the beach and parked my car. The sun was about to set, so it was perfect timing, kinda. It's as close to being perfect as it could right now. I slipped off my flip-flops and carried them in my left hand as I walked along the shore.

As I was walking I couldn't help but allow a few tears to escape my eyes. If you could see how horrible I looked right now, you'd think I got jumped in some dark ass alleyway. My eyes are puffy as fuck, my mascara's running down to my cheeks and is stained there, my whole body is just so tense and sore. Sore from being tightened, I tend to tighten up when I cry…do you do that too? Probably not, aaaand now you think I'm weird.

I'm so tired of walking already, so I sat down and looked over the ocean while the sun began to set. How miserable! This is one of the most beautiful scenes of nature ever, and here I am. Alone. The sky is a perfect blend of pink, purple, orange, and yellow. The birds are flying over head, mocking me cause they're not alone. God damn birds.

I brought my knees to my chest and hugged them. I had some kind of rocking back and forth motion, that is until I heard it.

"Absolutely stunning." The voice…I _know_ that voice!

I slowly turned my head only to see Miley standing there, staring at me. I know I should be mad…but I can't, I just want to hold her in my arms and have her tell me that she's never ever leaving me. Ever.

"Mikayla…I am so, so sorry. I know I've put you through he-"

"Don't start with me." I cut her off. She really needs to know how I feel, she hurt me, I'm sure a few words won't hurt.

"What?" She questioned. Don't give me that adorable, cute lost look! You're making this harder than it already is. Jerk.

"Miley, I don't want to listen to it. You left me. You broke me. You _shattered_ me. I don't think you could ever find all of the lost pieces. So please, don't waste any of my time or _yours_ in that matter. Why don't you go back to your _boyfriend _instead of hanging around a loser like me. Don't give me any of your pity." I spat out all too soon. So maybe I stood up and got in her face. Maybe I wanted to slap her. It's a love/hate thing right now. Don't lie to me and tell me you haven't been here before.

"Mikayla, please just let me explain…"

"Miley, there's nothing to explain! We've been through this. I lost you already so don't make it worse by trying to be fucking friends. That shit never works out, and apparently neither did we." Fuck the tears are coming again! With all these tears I could make up my own damn ocean!

"But I…I don't want to be friends, Mikayla." She looked down at her feet, and I slowly realized she started tearing up… Wow I feel like an asshole.

"What do you want to be then…?" My stupid voice cracked and she looked up. We were both on the verge of crying, and it just hurts when you make the one you love cry. But she hurt me first!

She took a hold of my hand in her own, and looked me deeply in my eyes. Whatever she was going to say right now, is 100% true. Her eyes say it before she can.

"Mikayla, I love you so much, and I know I really fucked up…But I do wanna be with you. Jake…he just made me feel so special, I-" What. The Fuck.

"And _I_ didn't make you feel _'special_'? I put air quotes when I said 'special'.

"Mikayla let me finish. You did make me feel special, more than anyone has or ever could, I just didn't realize that until I screwed up. When I was with Jake, it just didn't feel right. I knew something was wrong, I could feel it. It was you, Mikayla. I needed you. I still do…and I always will…"

"How do I know you're not gunna fuck me over again. I don't know if I can trust you." We were both crying by now, the sun hitting our faces, yeah it definitely showed.

"I know you still love me, Kayla. I know you still care and maybe you don't fully trust me, but I know you still trust me to some extent." How the hell does she know these things? Am I just some open book? "Please just give me one last chance, I swear to you that I won't screw up."

What's a girl to do? Follow her heart, or her head? My heart says yes, my head says no. Fuck this! I ran to straight into her and knocked her down on the sand. Who says you can't get a second chance at love? I love her, she loves me. That's all that matters as long as we stay together.

I was hovering over her body and I couldn't help but stare. Even though she had makeup running down her cheeks, I couldn't help but think she looked beautiful. I kissed her softly on her lips as the sun set. It seemed perfect, aside from the fighting and crying.

"I love you." I mumbled into the kiss.

"I love you too. So much it could kill me."

I really hope this is our Notebook romance. In fact, I know it is by the way she looks at me.


End file.
